Satsang 11 : Personality defect removal process

We learnt about the working of the mind and how a personality is formed while understanding about the first step of the personality defect removal process and we had decided to write down in our notebooks about our inappropriate actions, mistakes, reactions appearing in the mind, and stressful situations during the day.

We will try to understand how to scientifically document our mistakes from the point of view of the personality defect removal process. The personality defect removal chart is shown below. Within this process, you have to write according to the columns in this chart. We will try to understand how to do it.

Daily chart writing

We have to note down the mistakes committed by us every day. The column “Date” should contain the date on which we are writing the chart. In the next column, we have to write mistakes in a serial fashion, e.g., 1, 2,3….

The next important column in the PDR chart is that of inappropriate action, thought or reaction! All inappropriate actions, inappropriate reactions arising in the mind or expressed, and inappropriate thoughts and emotions observed during the whole day should be written under this column. For example, did not fold my bedsheet after getting up in the morning. / reached late to the meeting. / curry prepared by me was too spicy. / i over boiled the milk. Or got angry because mother asked me to hurry up. / When seniors pointed out mistakes at workplace, had the following thought as reaction, ‘these people are sitting here only for pointing out mistakes’. / When other colleagues were praised in office, I became upset thinking ‘We do all the work together but the credit goes to others’. / Was worried that my small child might get infected with corona. We have to note down such inappropriate actions and inappropriate thoughts in our mind in the chart.

In the classification column, we have to document whether the mistake was detected by self or pointed out by others. We should also mention the name of the person who pointed that mistake out to us. For example, if the mistake ‘I put my teacup on the table after having tea without washing it’ was pointed out by your mother, then you should mention it as ‘Pointed out by mother’ in the classification column. If the mistake ‘Milk kept on the stove for heating boiled over because I got busy with other work and forgot about it’ was committed by you and it was found out by you, then you should mention ‘Detected by self’ in the classification column.

The next column in the chart is – Time duration! Note down the time that elapsed between the mistake being committed by you and it being detected in this column. For example, if the mistake committed is ‘I fell asleep at 11 p.m. forgetting to switch off my computer’ and you come to know of the mistake at 7 a.m. next morning, the time elapsed between 11 p.m. at night and 7 a.m. in the morning should be mentioned in this column. In this particular example, what is the time duration that we should write? It is 8 hours. Let us look at another example. If the mistake is ‘I felt angry towards my senior because he shouted at me at workplace’, then you have to write the time elapsed between the occurrence of the feeling of anger and its quenching in this column.

Let us see the steps that we have to consider while determining the time duration of the inappropriate action.

1. Others pointing it out after the inappropriate action happens

2. Awareness of inappropriate action by self after it happens

3. Awareness of inappropriate action by self while it is happening

4. Awareness of the inappropriate action by self before it happens

5. Inappropriate action happening even after awareness about the inappropriate thought by self

6. Appropriate action happening after awareness about the inappropriate thought by self

One should consider these points and accordingly write down the time duration in that column.

We have to write down the PD responsible for that mistake happening in the column called personality defect. We ourselves have to ask questions to our mind in order to find out our PD. We will be able to find out our PD from the answers that we get to these questions. For example, if we have written the mistake ‘I went to the meeting 10 minutes late’ in your chart, then we ourselves have to decide the PD responsible for it by asking questions to our mind. Apparently, it seems like lack of punctuality is the PD behind reaching late at an appointed place! But it is not so in the case of every person committing this mistake. Why did I reach the meeting late by 10 minutes? The answer varies from person to person. For example, I forgot about the meeting or I felt that the meeting was not so important or It is okay to reach 10 minutes late for the meeting or I did not plan when to start in order to reach the meeting on time or I felt that I could reach on time, these are some of the various thought processes that might be behind that mistake. The PD active in a person is different based on the thought process at that time. If it is forgetting to go to the meeting, then the PD can be ‘forgetfulness’. If the mindset is ‘It is okay to reach late’, then ‘lack of seriousness’ can be the PD. If no planning was done about when to start from home for the meeting, then ‘lack of planning’ can be the PD. If the thought process is ‘I will anyway reach on time’, then the PD can be ‘overconfidence’. This means that even if the mistake is the same, but the thought process leading to the mistake is different in different people. You have to write your PD based on this thought process.

Here, it is important to note that in order to determine the PD appropriately, we have to note down the mistake properly in the chart. Let us look at the same example of getting to the meeting late. Instead of just writing ‘I reached 10 minutes late for the meeting’, we have to write our mistake in detail and with precision according to our thought process. For example, if the mistake is written like this – ‘I forgot about the meeting in the afternoon. Since I remembered about it just in time, I hurriedly got ready and reached the meeting 10 minutes late’ or ‘Due to the thought that it is okay to reach late in the meeting, I reached 10 minutes late at the meeting’ or ‘Since I did not plan about when to start from home to reach the meeting on time, I reached late at the meeting by 10 minutes’, then you will be able to detect the PD that is active behind this mistake, isn’t it? It is important to write the mistake properly in order to detect the PD behind it.